I kind of feel like a person that just got the door slammed in their face and is standing there with their head against it banging on it like “come on guys, let me in please. Please.”
Or like a little kid that just got told they couldn’t play with the cool kids and is just sitting on the swings like “aww they look like they’re having so much fun. I just wanna be their friend and share secrets and have fun too. Look that’s my favorite game, I wanna play too. Why don’t they like me?”
This week has sucked.
My next million dollar idea: reluctant exercise videos with people who aren’t perky.
"Just five more… I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it."
"Okay, new yoga pose. It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie."
"Stretch a little deeper… it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone."yes
I can’t stop crying. I haven’t stopped crying since last night. I can’t believe I didn’t make it again. I worked so hard and I did so well and I did so much better than last year, but my best just wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. Again.
I feel so lost. I’m in a major that I don’t want to get a job in and I have a GPA that I don’t know will get me into the grad program for the job that I do want and I wasn’t good enough at the one thing I thought I was good at and I can’t stop crying.
And my boyfriend is a graduate assistant with the band so he has to be at practice everyday so I’m all alone and I can’t stop crying.
With all of the recent alumni of the band starting to speak up now so that everyone can see the truth, and what was really going on, and how biased and one sided that report was I bet Dr. Drake is calling the office of compliance like “What the fuck. I trusted your report to help me make the right call, but do you even know how to conduct an investigation? This is shit.” because it is….. its a shit report. If you’re gonna make a recommendation for someone to get fired you better damn well have the whole story so that the person making the decision has piece of mind that they’re making the right call. The people that put together that report have now successfully screwed the band (past, present, and future) and Dr. Drake, congratulations.
Today was a really rough day, even for someone who has yet to make the band for the first time. It was really hard to watch the group that I have idolized for as long as I can remember get ripped apart and dragged through the mud. I mustn’t let this cloud the view of my dream though. I’m still sure as hell gonna make this marching band and I’m gonna be damn proud if I do because I will have made it into a row that has been dominated by men for years and years.
I’m sure this organization will pull together and make it through this because of the students that make it up. Despite the picture that report paints of the students in the band, of all the people I have gotten to know in the last year or so, I have never met a group of people more committed to each other and to an organization it’s self. I’m sure when the band for this year is announced they will pull together and have an outstanding season because all of this negative attention is just more motivation to prove that The Ohio State Marching Band is deserving of the title The Best Damn Band In The Land. And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I’m apart of that.